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MyriamDeclair.org

Publications

De l’Enfer à l’Endroit

Myriam Declair's book, De l’Enfer à l’Endroit, offers the reader advice on how to recover from living in a cult and how to assist cult victims and their families.

To do this Myriam Declair attempts to define what a cult experience is, to warn of the dangers of these deceptive groups and to impart hope for the victims, so they can make their life meaningful again. The good news is: there is life after the cult!

Myriam Declair wanted to write her story so she could distance herself from her experiences and see it from the viewpoint of an outsider. Writing has made it easier for her to understand her ten-years spent in the matrix of a pseudo-religious group which called itself The Children of God and seemed to offer love, happiness and hope to make the world a better place.

Caught in its manipulative grips, Myriam Declair eventually realised that she had built her identity around and put her energy into a marred and unhealthy group, tainted by one man's corruption and sly twisting of Christian Scripture. It was destroying her integrity and family life.

She tells of her experience and how she managed to extract her imprisoned-self from this abusive and coercive movement. It will, she hopes, give some clues as to how difficult it can be to regain one’s freedom of mind, thought and conduct following such an emotional and traumatic experience.

Myriam Declair. ”De l’Enfer à l’Endroit: j’ai passé 10 ans dans une secte” Ourania, 2008.
ISBN: 2940335281, 14,50 €

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"Can one come out of a cult and still believe ?"

At age 15, I left home in search for spiritual answers to my existential questions. Soon after I met a zealous religious movement who were out to change the world. Their dedication and vision were contagious. After experiencing a dramatic conversion, and thinking I had found the "true way", I joined the group as a full-time missionary, convinced I was doing the "will of God". I shunned my family and friends and renounced my academic studies all together. All I wanted to do was "pick up my cross, and follow Him". I thought I was chosen by God, one of the few elect that God had chosen to save the world. So I set off to preach the Gospel to every creature.

My first years in the movement generally known as "the Family International", were happy ones. I loved the community life, enjoyed serving others, and was fully dedicated to preaching the Truth to "the lost". But little by little, new and strange ideas taught by our end-time prophet infiltrated the ranks of us sincere disciples. The doctrines came as an addition to the Bible, a "necessary revelation" in order for us to understand God's will for us in this modern age. The Bible, he proclaimed, was God's Word for yesterday, but his words were God's word for today! These strange ideas and injunctions were believed, accepted, and performed by almost 10.000 people who were mesmerized and under the influence of a fanatical, religious psychopath and sex maniac. We were so blinded by his charisma and under his complete control, that only a few of us ever woke up to the fact that we had been "brainwashed". Even though my conscience had been crying out that those erroneous doctrines were not healthy, I submitted out of fear of God's punishment, reprisal from my leaders and scorn by my fellow believers. The pressure to conform was enormous.

In the end, following my spiritual master and guru led to the destruction of my integrity as well as the break-up of my own family. My blind obedience had caused much pain and suffering, which led me to wake up one day to the fact that my whole belief system and actions had been dictated to me by another, and needed a close inspection and in some cases, a prompt and radical disposal!

Coming out of a cult is one thing, getting the cult out of you is another! So how does one come out of such an environment and still retain some form of belief? When God has been disfigured to the extreme, and the Bible twisted to suit a false prophet's dangerous aspirations? When the true meaning of Scripture has been deformed to the point that you cannot even attend a normal church service or hear the Bible without experiencing severe post traumatic flash backs because of your negative cult experience?

It is a long process. It takes time to sift through everything that has been taught to you in the movement you so sincerely adhered to and trusted in. I was lucky to meet at this crucial time of my life a minister, who took the time to do just that, helping me to understand the meaning of Scripture, without alteration or private interpretation. I also had to learn to develop my OWN relationship with God, searching the Scriptures for myself, and receiving spiritual truths as revealed directly to me. These were my challenges: to start thinking for myself once again, to be aware of and express my own emotions, to function in today's society and to listen again to Biblical teaching in a sounder context. So the answer is yes! One can still hold to a healthy belief in God, after having gone through the mental and spiritual torture of cultic involvement. Whilst most people throw the baby out with the bathwater, I was lucky in that I was able to learn to express my faith in healthier and different ways. My faith was refined, sifted, and redirected into alternative ways of sharing it. For this I am extremely grateful.

Myriam Declair, 2009

Updated: 20 September 2009

Contact: myriam.declair@gmail.com